Modeling after an angry parent, sibling peers.
Uncovering Various Types of Loneliness John Paul II in his encyclical on faith and reason wrote, "The admonition know yourself was carved on the temple portal at Delphi as testimony to a basic truth to be adopted as a minimal norm by those who seek to set themselves apart from the rest of creation as human beings, that is, as those who "know themselves.
Self-knowledge in this area is essential to personal growth and to marital happiness. Therefore, it is important for all spouses who are depressed to evaluate the degree of loneliness they may have experienced in their family of origin relationships, other loving relationships and in the marriage.
Mental health professionals should also take such important histories and not simply focus on the here and now as many unfortunately do. Major symptoms of family of origin loneliness include a lack of energy and enthusiasm in the home, a lack of cheerfulness, excessive irritability, resentment with the demands of giving to children or one's spouse, avoidance of self-giving to one's spouse, avoidance of the home or communication with one's spouse.
The most common type of family of origin loneliness we uncover in our patients is from the father relationship. While respecting their father's hard work for the family, many adults wished he was more emotionally giving and complimentary.
While, the majority of spouses we work with had close, supportive mother relationships, attachment conflicts with mothers are becoming more prevalent in young adults because of their placement in day care when young. Also, some women did not have mothers who enjoyed giving Causes of unhappy families emotionally to them and can experience a inner sadness and a similar weakness in self-giving to children or spouse.
Another important type of loneliness is that caused by the lack of an ongoing experience of cheerful giving and loving between a father and a mother. In this regard, John Paul II has written that marital love is meant to be an icon of Trinitarian love.
Next, the lack of a close relationship with a brother or a sister can contribute to adult sadness and depression. A study from the Harvard Medical School published in of men revealed that poorer relationships with siblings prior to age 20 and a family history of depression independently predicted both the occurrence of major depression and the frequency of use of mood-altering drugs by age This loneliness can lock in at different life stages.
The next important attachment relationship to explore after parental and sibling ones is that of same sex friendships. Children crave warmth and acceptance first by parents and siblings and then by friends of the same sex. This acceptance is essential to the child's sense of wellbeing and strengthens his or her confidence in masculinity and femininity.
Loneliness for close friendships can play a major role in spousal depression.
The adolescent and young adult history of opposite sex friendships and dating relationships is also important. Some individuals have deep inner sadness and emptiness because they never experienced an enjoyable, comforting friendship with someone of the opposite sex before their marriage.
In addition to the evaluation of possible loneliness in the family background, one of the first steps we use in treating spouses who are depressed is to evaluate the quality of the self-giving to the marital friendship, the romantic relationship and betrothed love see Marital love, faith and sexuality chapter.
Here we ask the spouses to complete the marital self-giving checklist on themselves and on their spouse see Evaluate Your Marriage. Then the history of secure attachment relationships is explored in the family, with peers and in other important relationships prior and in the marriage.
Major sources of marital loneliness today are the failure to have dinner with one's spouse and the failure to spend pleasant evenings in the same room with one's spouse. Spiritual writers have also described an inner emptiness, loneliness and lack of a sense of purpose in love due to the absence of healthy spiritual relationships.
In Catholic depressed spouses consultation with a spiritual director should be considered in view of research that has demonstrated the benefits of faith in dealing with depressive illness. In a second study by the Danish group of nearly a half million women who used hormonal contraceptives compared with women who never used them were at two to three times greater risk for suicide.
Adolescents experienced the highest relative risks. With a mean age of 21 years, 6, first suicide attempts and 71 suicides were identified. The authors concluded that considering the severity of these little-recognized potential side effects of hormonal contraceptives, health professionals and women starting hormonal contraceptives should be informed about them.
My article based on almost forty years of practice with Catholic marriages identifies growth in selfishness in the marriage from the use of hormonal contraceptives as being harmful to marital trust, marital friendship and communion, as well as to sexual intimacy, https: If the issue is an emotionally distant, controlling, angry or selfish spouse, those chapters on this site should be helpful.
If unresolved family of origin issues are a major source of conflict, an approach to this sadness will be presented later in the chapter. Regardless of the source of the loneliness, the resolution of anger with those who hurt one are essential in the healing process.
At time of the celebration of the third millennium during which John Paul II asked for forgiveness for human weaknesses within a holy Church, he also stated that unless one forgives one is a prisoner of one's past.
A person can also be imprisoned by sadness, anxiety and insecurity all of which is encapsulated in anger.1 The family is not a static institution. In recent decades, marriage rates have fallen, divorce rates have risen, and the defining characteristics of marriage have changed. Family difficulties, the loss of a loved one, or perceived failures at school or in relationships can all lead to negative feelings and depression.
And teen depression often makes problems seem overwhelming and the associated pain unbearable. Suicide is an act of desperation and teen depression is often the root cause.
Research has found that when parents are in an unhappy marriage, the conflict compromises the social and emotional well-being of children by threatening their sense of security in the family. This in turn predicts the onset of problems during adolescence, including depression and anxiety.
15 Common Causes of Suicide: A List of Possibilities Listed below are some common causes of suicide and a brief explanation regarding why it may lead a person to become suicidal.
The most common cause of suicide is untreated depression, as 90% of individuals who commit suicide are depressed. Physical Pain – Some turn to alcohol to self medicate for chronic pain or illness. It just happened to them – For whatever reason, some people are just more susceptible to addiction.
It could be a product of genetics, it could be a product of their upbringing, it could be a combination of both. They are a few causes in unhappy families, but can also be fixed if families are willing to make the sacrifices into becoming a better healthy family. Sometimes these things just happen naturally but nothing can stop a family into becoming a happy one.